Monday, May 16, 2005 Rowie loves Jay @ 2:25 PM.
Hmm... it has been some time since I last blogged.. It's funny that this blog thingy is such a craze rite now. It used to be ICQ, then msn, then friendster and now this... Well, I was thinking why do people blog? Well, for me, I blog just for the fun of it. I guess you can call this a so-called 'diary'. But I will never share REAL personal stuff down here. I just prefer maybe to type than to write cos it is much faster and less effort is required...
Anyway, I have been thinking for quite some time. Well, at work, when I dun have much to do, I will think about stuff since I basically read all the magazines at work. And just for the record, I feel right at place at work now.. Just that sometimes, it can be real boring at work, esp when there are no customers. Actually I think I have said this like so many times: It is boring at times. My colleagues always tell me that it is great to be studying and that I should not hurry to step out into the working world.. Well, I dunnoe about that. At times I agree, and at times I don't! I guess you always have to find joy in doing anything.. That way, there will be less complains and it becomes so much easier to just do it.
Also, I have been thinking a lot about my life and myself. Thinking about who I really am. I dunnoe.. I think till now I really dunnoe who I truly am.. I know a few things about myself.. But I dun know who I TRULY am. Sometimes when I look back on what I have done, I get amazed that I am actually capable of doing such stuff. But I always think that I am an average person. The kind that no one really pays attention to or no one really wants to delegate 'huge' deals to. Sth like dat!!! You can say that I am not really confident person... I dunnoe... I have yet to find my true identity and I am still searching for it. A lot of people have goals in their life that they are already working towards.... It is so great to have a perspective or a direction on where to go.. Well, as for me, I dun have a goal or a dream for that matter.. Which is so SAD... I dun even know what I want to be when I grow up, which company to work for when I graduate and whether I am capable to do a good job.. I always go for the safe routes... I dunnoe if I will ever muster up the courage to go for something challenging!!
Ok, enough about myself.. These days I have been feeling quite disappointed.. Cos the people that I messaged did not reply. I dunnoe if they have received it or they just dun wanna reply... It has been almost 2 weeks.. And I dun hear anything.. There are 2 people that i have messaged and e-mailed that has not replied and I truly want to hear from them... :(
Sometimes you have to not get your hopes too high cos the greater the disappointment will be. Have you heard people say that all the time? I have and I tried.. But I guess it is human nature to not think about the bad part.. So i really hope they reply. Even a simple Hi will mean a lot to me... You know I told one of my friends that if this 1 person whom I am waiting for the reply does not reply, I will give that person up!!!! Ok, I left a message on Friendster... So you can check whether the person has logged in. And that person has logged in, but not reply. I am sure that I have sent it cos it is in my "sent items" folder... So i guess the only reason why that person has not replied is the person just does not want to reply rite??? I mean what else can it be rite?? So i guess I am supposed to give that person up.. I am trying to give myself a deadline to stop waiting... But can i really do it?? I dunnoe. One of my friends said I can't do it.. Maybe he is right... I am creating too much excuses for myself.. Well, I will try I guess... I dun really noe. Time will tell....
Well, I am looking forward to my Hong Kong trip which is this coming friday.. Oooh.. I am so so excited.. Cannot wait for it... Finally I am going on a holiday... yippee...... I love travelling... It is really awesome.. Ah Ha.. One of my dreams is to go on a holiday all around the world.. I would really like to go to Europe and USA!!!! PARIS is a place that I would really really love to visit.. Maybe I will go there on my honeymoon when I get married.. Who knows rite? That is if I get married.. Which of course I surely love to... My colleague once asked me this question "Why do people want to get married? You knoe the wife comes home from a long day of work, she still has to cook and clean up the house.. so tiring. If she were to live on her own, her load of work will be reduced cos she is not washing another person's clothes just her own..." Well, my answer was that if you really love that person, you would want to spend the rest of your life with that person. You would want to enjoy raising a family with that person. You would go through thick and thin with that person. And there will be no complains because it is worth it!! I dunnoe if that is realistic. But that is how I truly feel.... I know for sure that I am a sentimental gal.. So i noe that I will really treasure that person I love a lot..... and will not take him for granted...
Ok i think I am going off track... Till the next time..... LATER.....